I'm really starting to feel ashamed to an intense degree that I was born into this gluttonous, shallow, completely off-the-rocker society. I'm embarrassed to think of how humanity in the future will look back at this point in history and think of how horrible, selfish, ignorant and brutish we were. I almost feel like putting a message in a time capsule that someone at a point in the future will open up. It will read something like this:

"Not all of us were acting and behaving in the way you think we all were. Some of us were truly concerned about our future and your future. We thought outside of the box and saw how reckless and destructive everything we were doing was and we tried to fight the movements of our society and find ways to express our frustration and attempt to live our lives with as little of a footprint as possible.....but there is so much going on and it's all so overwhelming sometimes and you feel like just stepping out of the whole game/race/charade and opting out of participating anymore, or simply just resigning to the consumption marketing machine and the oil/car/military machine.

I just wanted to say, I'm very, very sorry. The powerful greedy few were at the controls and the rest of us were either brainwashed, scared, dismissive or too few in number to convince the rest in time that we really needed to do something drastically, completely different."

I've been trying to keep it all in perspective. The media overblow everything, I realize, but the volume of scientific data is becoming startling, and typically reality is always somewhere in between the extremes. I'm losing more and more sleep over this and becoming more and more anxious. I wish I could go on an 'extremely extended leave of absence' from the entire chaotic mess. I can't take much more.